Review my First Draft
Please write your feedback for my paper as a comment on this post.
Speech 2 Outline
Introduction The imperial unit system is inefficient and causes problems Parts manufactured to be incompatible with metric problems in conversions/scholarly work inefficiency of the units Body Examples of problems caused (miscalculations/communications) Miscalculation of gravity Metric system units are more connected Relationships across unit systems vs no/little relation Everyone else is on the metric system More universal How we can change to the metric system Metric preferred but both still printed for x number of years Conclusion Metric system more efficient Metric system is more universal 2 systems causes problems
Hi Jonah,
ReplyDeleteOverall, I really like your paper on the writing in the field of engineering. You provide very good examples of the academic writing along with the purpose. However, there are a few parts where I get a little confused. One is the use of a "+" after a period. It's the first time I've ever seen it being used in a paper. Another one would be the "most" on the 2nd sentence of "Language", I believe that it should be changed to "mostly". I believe that there should be a Running head on the upper left hand corner of your paper along with a simplified title. Other than those, I really like the way how you organized your paper. There's a good topic sentence in each paragraph, and you do very well adding information to explain your points.