Methods and Introduction
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Feedback to Major Writing 2 draft 1
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Speech 2 Outline
Introduction The imperial unit system is inefficient and causes problems Parts manufactured to be incompatible with metric problems in conversions/scholarly work inefficiency of the units Body Examples of problems caused (miscalculations/communications) Miscalculation of gravity Metric system units are more connected Relationships across unit systems vs no/little relation Everyone else is on the metric system More universal How we can change to the metric system Metric preferred but both still printed for x number of years Conclusion Metric system more efficient Metric system is more universal 2 systems causes problems
Sample Paper reviews
The role of writing in Political Science Strengths: -good paragraph structure -Good citations -Opening catches attention Weaknesses: -First person is frequently used -No real introduction -There is no real thesis Writing in Psychology Strengths: -Catches and keeps attention -Lines are drawn between various sources, which connects the parts of the paper -Clear thesis Weaknesses: -Bland title -Mentions interviewing the same person twice within one page -No title page Writing as a Creative Writer Strengths: -Good conclusion -Good paragraph length in most sections -Good exact quotes from the interview Weaknesses: -Doesn’t grab my attention -Academic sources section is very small -Sections greatly vary in length and amount of information Writing in the Field of Economics Strengths: -Clear thesis -Builds on and explains the thesis and why he thinks that way -Explains some of what the field does for an audience that might not kno...
Comments on 1st draft of the 2nd Writing Assignment.
ReplyDeleteVery clear abstract.
In-text citations are needed. In the introduction, you mentioned a previous study conducted by Crowl and Louvar, but you didn't include any information about them, and there was no reference page.
Need to separate results part and discusion part. You may talk about the statistics in the results part, and talk about some future applications in the discussion part.
In the methods part, you may talk about how you came up with each Methane Conc. that you tested so that the audience understands you paper better.
Expand more on your study. How does this result affect the University of Iowa and how is it new in this field besides it is a new set of data? Are there any other findings during the study? If you include these questions in your paper, it would be much better.
Above all, it is a very concise paper with precise experiment design and data.